What is a Christian Counselor?

Using a counselor who shares your faith brings about better results for the client. But what exactly is a Christian counselor?  While there is no specific definition for “Christian Counselor,” let me share what I mean when I state that I am a Christian counselor.  

A Christian counselor comes to the table with a Christian worldview. You may think that in our culture, that is a broad statement, and you would be right. Christians disagree on so many things. However, counselors are not there to define your beliefs; however, talking with someone who understands your foundational beliefs can be helpful since values and beliefs form our cultural setting. 

A good counselor will help you wrestle with a belief so that you come to your own belief, but they will not teach you their version of doctrine.  Since wrestling with an issue in scripture requires knowledge of the Bible, a Christian counselor must know scripture to help the client have a foundational understanding from a historical and biblical context.  However, the job of a pastor is to teach congregants sound doctrine. This becomes a little muddied since Jesus’ great commission was to go and teach all men what He taught us. Because of this, there are times when it would be appropriate for a Christian Counselor to help someone better understand a foundational truth from Scripture, but this is not usually the main point of counseling. The point of counseling is to let you think through the perspectives of issues that bother you.

However, a Christian counselor will understand and use the Bible to help guide sessions only at the client's request.  Jesus never forced Himself or His ideas on people. I think of the rich young ruler in Matthew 19:16-30. Jesus knew before He told the man to sell all of his possessions and follow Him that the man would walk away, yet Jesus looked at Him and loved him and let the man walk away. There was no pushing, prodding, or pleading. I believe that the Bible should only be used at the client's request, and this is also consistent with the ethical statement of the American Associationn of Christian Counselors, which I adhere to.

But Christian counseling is not “Biblical Counseling”. However, it should be biblical. Let’s look at the differences.

Biblical Counseling is a practice that asserts that everything, including adverse issues in the client's life, is a spiritual matter. A Christian counselor will hear the whole matter (Proverbs 18:13) before determining whether the problem is spiritual, emotional, physical, cognitive, or social.  As Christians, Jesus is at the center of everything we do since Christians are followers of Christ. However, humans have emotions, a physical body with physiological processes, thoughts or cognitions, and social interactions.  The Bible speaks into many situations that Christians find themselves in, but that is not the only aspect of life.  God created us with thoughts and emotions.  He puts us in a cultural setting with others in our social circle.  We must look at each developmental area and assess how to help a client best. One of the priorities in any intake is to develop a sense of which areas are strong and which need strengthening.   

This is in harmony with the way Jesus helped people.  When the people were hungry, He did not tell them to read their Bibles and pray all the way home and that they would be fine. Instead, He told the disciples to feed them or they may faint (Matthew 15:32).  He knew that physically they needed to eat, so He fed them.  

Many times, I hear new clients tell me of times when they were told to pray more or have more faith by well-meaning counselors, but that is not how Jesus interacted with people. Another example was the woman with a blood issue (Luke 8: 43-49). Jesus didn’t give her a lecture on reading her Bible more to have more faith. She needed to be physically healed, and physically, she was healed. 

An example of someone who was hurting emotionally was Mary as she wept at her brother's tomb, Lazarus (John 11: 20-44).  His response to her was not that if she were closer to Him, then she would not be sad. Her emotional well-being was so important to Him that even though He knew in the coming minutes that Lazarus would be alive again because He would raise Lazarus from the dead, Jesus stood and wept with Mary. And the Greek words suggest that this was not a quiet little cry with Mary, but rather He was undone, and then He yells, “Lazarus, come forth.” Jesus cared about Mary’s emotional well-being, and a true Christian Counselor will care for and help the individual’s well-being. 

Just as no two Christians have identical beliefs, no two Christian counselors will be exactly the same. So I will speak to my own practice.  I believe that considering all five areas of development (biological, psychological, social, spiritual, and emotional needs), I am working in a Biblical fashion.  However, I will always leave room for others, and I won’t say that my counseling is the only BIBLICAL counseling because this seems highly prideful to me, which would be wrong, and according to scripture, pride is a sin.   

To be fair, while no two Christian Counselors are the same, biblical counselors surely differ from counselor to counselor. However, at the roots of the biblical counseling movement were men who taught that everything humans needed was in Scripture.  

My issue with this is that we don’t tell individuals with heart issues that they need to read more scripture and pray more!  We could spend the day looking at what scripture says about the heart, but if there is a physiological blockage, we will see the cardiologist to take care of it.  The brain is an organ like the heart is an organ, and the brain can have physiological difficulties just like the heart. These physical problems can increase negative hormones within the brain to create depressive symptoms, anxiety, and more. There are ways to change how an individual thinks so that positive hormones are released, which can also help with these symptoms.   

So if you want someone to tell you to pray harder, I am not the right counselor.  However, if you would like someone who will ask God for wisdom to understand the area where you are weak and then ask Him to help us know how to strengthen that area so that you can live well, all while using researched-based practices that have been shown to bring a positive outcome, then I am certainly someone that you should consider.  

Research shows that the most important part of working with a counselor is what psychologists call the therapeutic relationship. Judgment harms the relationship between client and counselor, so as a Christian counselor, I will make every effort to work with compassion and empathy, which are protective of the counseling relationship. The Holy Spirit’s job is to show us, when necessary, that we are going the wrong way, and I will leave that job to Him.   

Let’s look at some things that I mean when I call myself a Christian Counselor. 

• I come to the table with decades of studying scripture, decades of walking with Jesus, and a clinical background, which gives me insight into how the brain works, its physiology, what that means for emotions, how that affects social interactions with humans, what is happening in the body during a traumatic event or an event that reminds of a traumatic event.  If you would like me to, I will help you find ways to improve your relationship with God. 

• One tool that I often use is an understanding of Attachment Theory.  This theory helps humans build solid relationships with their significant others, their children, friends, other family members, and God, which is our most vital relationship.  

• I believe everyone who does any counseling should understand trauma and the unique ways that our bodies work when faced with life-or-death situations.

• Christian counselors may use prayer, scripture, and spiritual disciplines like silence, solitude, gratefulness, and prayer. However, if you want specific things into your sessions, you should let your counselor know.

In summary, a Christian counselor works from a Christian Worldview and can use spiritual disciplines, Scriptures, and gifts to help a client. They also know the science of psychology.  These two are integrated.  However, if psychology refutes Scripture, then Scripture trumps it.  If you want a label, I am an Integrational Counselor but be aware that just like no two Christians believe the same way, neither do two Integrated Christian counselors.  

For those of you who are not looking for a Christian counselor and are wondering if I can still help, the answer is yes. Just like Jesus helped everyone, I am glad to work with those I believe that I can make a significant difference in their life, whether they are Christians or not.

I would love to hear your positive thoughts and questions. Feel free to contact me at MelodiKitzmiller@gmail.com.

Perhaps as you read about the counseling that I described, it appealed to you. If so, feel free to reach out to me.  Call or text me at (302) 270-8503.